Redeem: 21

Sometimes I get very afraid.

I sit over here and you are over there,
and I do not know:

Are you walking in truth?
Or are you walking in despair?

I just do not know.

Tell me, please:
Will the despair win?

Sometimes I feel like I am
constantly fighting the battle of
"the despair will win."
Sometimes I get very afraid that it will.

You know it's not real, right?
That the despair is all a trick?

Sometimes I get very afraid that
this is exactly what you do not know.

This morning I sit, right smack down here.
And I beg the Lord for truth.
For me, for you.
With tears.

I listen, I yell, I cry, I hear:

Remember Who I Am.

He leads me straight through the Psalms,
12, 18, 56.

And then He reminds me who you are,
the man of strength, integrity, truth
that we both know you to be.
And I realize: When I sit down inside this fear,
I am not trusting you to be you.

I think instead that you are weak,
and that I have to fix you, carry you,
take care of it, tell you how it is.

et cetera.

I sit over here and you are over there,
and the Lord is present too.
He's teaching me and teaching me,
preparing me for you.

So today I'll change my tune.
I won't speak fear, but hope.
I won't carry your burden,
but will lift it, with you.

And I will say what it is that I do know:

You are the well-loved son of a living and mighty King.

Be well today, be strong;
claiming what is yours, be you.

[redeem, verb: to free from what distresses or harms; to release from blame or debt; to regain possession or recover ownership; 

to convert, restore, atone; to save]