It has been awhile.
The last few years have been nothing short of "what on earth is happening?", and times like those sometimes require a bit of closing off and turning in in order to listen and seek and come to terms with the new day that is emerging. As 2023 opened I found: It's time to come out of hibernation. The new day is here.
What does that look like? Not sure. But part of it is returning here, to write. Maybe some revelation, maybe some rambling, probably some proclamation of the things that bring me joy.
But first, a brief recap.
When last we spoke it was April 2020, and life was small due to all that was covid. I hunkered down in my sweet cottage, worked from home, and took a lot of walks.
I built and strengthened core friendships and did a lot of the deep deep resting, letting many extraneous things I'd been collecting simply fall away. I became obsessed with birds and bird feeders, as well as frothy coffee. I also washed a lot of laundry, in my sink.
The Lord and I spent a lot of time dwelling, preparing me for the "next" I knew that he was bubbling. Eventually I began to sell my things, because I could sense that change was coming.
And then, change did--though looking very little like what I'd been expecting.
First, I got the news I'd need to leave the cottage. I sold and sorted and gave away quite a bit more of my belongings. I asked the Lord, "what do I do?" and he directed me step by step into what I now call my 'year of wandering', a year of walking out the hard and the humbling. The small things got smaller, core things stripped away. Good things that had come to the fullness of their purpose, unhealthy things that needed to be re-framed.
It was a year of laying down: absolutely everything.
Every rotten or rotting thing, called out, cleaned up, put to death.
I learned: The Lord is all I need or (most days) desire. There is no other way to satisfaction.
Now it's more than a year and actually still I find myself in what we might call "limbo," but the Lord is kind and here I am in 2023; coming alive and full of joy, even if everything around me looks nothing like I'd hoped it might, and even if some days I wipe away the tears of deep and disappointed.
It's time to turn around, and pick back up the things I sowed along the way.
It is time for harvest, and all I have is praise.
Psalm 126: A Song of Ascents
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negev.
Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy.
He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.
That, my friends, is a Promise.
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