Following Yonder Star

Christmas isn't really Christmas until the Kooistra kids get home and settle into each other's presence. This year our celebration together occurred on the day after the traditional December 25th, when we all descended on Mom & Dad's amongst presents, food, and general chaos.

This year will go down in our memories as the Christmas of cheese: Marisa made a chili dip whose consistency was 33% chili and 66% cheese; I made cheese fondue whose consistency was 100% cheese with a few seasoning garnishes; Dave & Kara cut up two gigantic blocks of (100%) cheese given to us by Marisa's parents, and we ended the night with canolis to celebrate Marisa's birthday. Once we had settled down a bit, and the food was out and ready to be consumed, our first order of celebration was to snuggle together into the sunroom to watch the Muppet Family Christmas special that we always watched as kids and for which Keith and Dave have a soft-spot in their hearts.

The rest of the day was spent eating cheese and opening gifts in the ambiance of glowing fireplace and Christmas tree.

It was just nice to be together.

(It is also nice to have sisters--my brothers were always good gift-givers, but I think I will never cease to be appreciative of the feminine gifts I've received in recent years...)






It was a Christmas of re-calibrating our roles as adult children & siblings,
of adjusting to how our lives are being shaped and what that means for us as a familial-whole.

As I reflected on the treat that it is to be in one room together, blessing each other with gifts bought & given in thoughtfulness and love, I thought about something my Grandfather had said in a prayer the day before.

He had prayed about the faith of the Wisemen, who followed the star to see the Christ-child, without knowing what it was they would find. I thought about the faith that it takes to see a star, and trust that it is evidence of something more. I thought about the faith that it takes to celebrate a Christmas that is more than just gifts and a spirit of peace and love. I thought about the faith that it takes to trust that the family you love will love you back. I thought about the faith that it takes to leave that family center--to wander out into field, fountain, moor, mountain. I thought about that star that draws us back together, by drawing us to the One who is the only reality we can fully rely on as we stumble along our way in a rocky world.

Then, I thought about the faith that it takes to eat a truck-load of cheese without worrying about anyone condemning you for the ensuing gastro-intestinal side effects. That, after all, is what Christmas (and family) is really all about.

Glory, Hallelujah

Christmas in the Kooistra family always begins on Christmas Eve with the meeting of my mother's family at my parents' house. The sequence of events is as follows: appetizer buffet, gifts, dinner buffet, gifts, dessert buffet, stockings. It is a loooooong, goooooood time.







My grandmother made us girls (pictured here: my cousin Nicole, me, Marisa; plus Kara who was with her family) some hand-knitted bags that are extraordinarily crafted and that we will treasure.

We initiated Marisa into the role of Santa, which she handled with aplomb. She even organized a giving order which made our lives infinitely better, our night significantly shorter (in a good way) and for which we wondered how we have lived without her this long.

The Knyfd sisters were at it again--every year they sit next to each other, and every year there is at least one picture where they are sitting in exactly the same position with the exact same posture and look on their face. Though this one was caught mid-laugh and hence not 100% identical, I chose to include it because it was caught mid-laugh: There was much laughter among us, and much warmth of heart last evening.

(There was also much eating, and I am a bit shocked to find that I still fit into my clothes this morning)

This year was especially meaningful because it was the first without Grandpa, and it was made even more special because of the thoughtfulness of some of our family members.

My aunt found pictures that he had taken on his travels throughout the US, and framed them for the grandchildren. Though I had decided not to cry, and felt pretty confident that my full-fledged grieving was over, I burst into tears when I saw my cousin open hers first because I knew without explanation what it was. The man loved a good picturesque moment, and as my Grandmother reminded us--he would stand in one place for 10 minutes just waiting for it to occur. You could say he was stubborn or you could say he was patient. I say he was both, and that's why we loved him.

Keith took the scrapbook my grandfather had made of his WWII experience, scanned all of the pictures into his computer, and made us all photobooks with the captions Grandpa had included. The boy has a heart of pure thoughtfulness, and this is why we love him. (You can imagine the state of my tear ducts at that moment....)

Another special event this year is that my dad's parents are with us for Christmas for the first time since I was 4 (that is, a long time ago). We are about to engage in pre-dinner coffee and cookies, which will be followed by mid-afternoon dinner of lasagna (prepared by yours truly on Wednesday), followed by (I'm predicting) a long Christmas nap. Lovely.

As I heartily sang the Christmas carols in church this morning my heart was reminded:

Christ is King of kings. He is Lord of lords. No matter what your circumstances this Christmas, that hasn't changed and will always be the same. Glory--Hallelujah.

Hello Grant, Welcome.

I spent yesterday and this morning with friends old and dear in Harrisburg. Each meeting was a highlight in and of itself, as I flew from meeting place to meeting place.

The highlight of highlights, however, was my meeting with Grant David Creason, the newest member of the Dave, Amanda & Natalie Creason family.

Grant peacefully slept most of the afternoon away as Marina and I helped Amanda and her mother make a million chocolate covered cherries (quite an undertaking when one has just delivered a nearly 10-lb. boy....)

(It seems like just yesterday we were welcoming Natalie to our little circle of friends, but it was clear that she is asserting her independence from us--she spent the afternoon on my cell phone, after playing a marathon game of peek-a-boo. Where does time go?)

Good friends, good time, good life. Good. Barukh attah adonai.

Let's go to Bethlehem

Traditionally the story goes that when the shepherds heard about the Christ child from the chorus of angels, they said to each other "Let us go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened". I kinda wish I were a shepherd, abiding in the fields. The experience of "a great company of the heavenly host" would have been something really interesting to blog about, and I like to think that I wouldn't have been the least bit skeptical. I like to think that I too would have said "Let's go to Bethlehem", to celebrate the first Christmas in wonder and love.

The closest I can get is to celebrate with those who are right here in my backyard, to get together with them in the same spirit of wonderment over being given the gift of each other and the gift of this holiday season. To "spread the word concerning what had been told", to dwell together in "glorifying and praising God for all the things heard and seen".

To that end, my celebrations began on Wednesday afternoon with Heather Kate & Sarah, somewhat chaotically in the midst of homework and neighborhood friends before they headed off to VA. Then, later that evening I joined my life group friends for soup & salad, yummy dessert, laughter, and secret santa gifts. I was sweetly made a hand-painted container of home-made truffles by the lovely Anne. I was grateful. The next morning found me making jars of soup and cookie mix with Amy & Emily at Emily's house. We measured and poured many ingredients into many jars for E & A to gift to those they love, all dolled up in our aprons. We then took ourselves to olive garden for soup salad and breadsticks, as well as some laughter and good (much needed and long over-due) conversation.

The next evening, Yi-Ting, Yu-Chen and myself had another much needed and long over-due time for the three of us to re-connect and warm each other's hearts. Usually our gatherings involve many pictures--particularly of the food--but we were too tired. This semester has worn us out. (That didn't keep us from talking until much past our bed-times, however.)

The next morning I got up as the snow swirled outside and made some ham & spinach hash to take over to Amy's for a girl's breakfast extraordinaire (because we're girls and because we're extraordinary, in case you were wondering....). The food was delicious, the company was wonderful, the snow outside helped to make the experience all the more special.

That evening found me out to dinner with my land-family, Pam, Del, Megan, Mattie, and Megan's boyfriend (as if I hadn't had enough laughter and hilarity already). We followed it up by going to see a movie together, which was my first chance to see a movie in awhile and was a nice way to end a snowy day.

Tomorrow morning I will pack up my car and drive to Harrisburg for a whirlfriend reunion with a few of my Harrisburgian friends before I head to NJ to help my mother prepare for the upcoming weekend. I can predict much more wonder and amazement over the next few days, and think that perhaps I can say with the angels:

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests".

for good reason...

Let me tell you the small drama of my weekend:

Yesterday I had to play a concert in the afternoon. We had freezing rain and general mess, so I started my car with my automatic starter. I must have hit the "lock" button by accident (which is located just above the "automatic start" button on my little thingie....), which would ordinarily be no problem except that the "unlock" button does not work. This means that I activated the alarm, but had no way of de-activating it. In fact, when I got in my car to the accompanying sirens and whistles and put in the key, the car would not start, as an extra security measure. (I forgot to mention that on my way to the car, I slid on the ice that was covering the driveway and landed smack on my bum. This did not help my overall mental and emotional state....which, I also should mention, was heavily influenced by the amount of pressure I was putting on myself to get all of my work done, and the feeling that I was running out of time....)

I called my friend Heather (in tears) and asked her to come and get me and bring me to the concert. While I was waiting for them to get to my house, my landlady Pam pulled in the driveway. I warned her to not fall as she got out of the car, and she noticed my general state of forlorness. She ended up taking the alarm manual (which I had gone back inside to find), my keys, and the little thingie that was causing all the problems in the first place, assuring me that she and her husband Del would try to figure it out while I was gone.

Heather, Ash, Kate, and Sarah arrived, gathered me into the car with love, and dropped me off at school, but not before I realized that I had handed all of my keys to Pam, including my office key. This would ordinarily not be a problem, except that my music for the concert was in my office, and my office was locked. Heather and her family went back to my house, got my keys from Del, who was sitting in my car with all of the sirens going off, and brought them back to me.

The concert began. When I took my bow, I noticed that Pam and Del were sitting in the audience. Turns out their daughter was involved in one of the choirs performing. Afterward we found each other. I said "How is my car?" Pam said "We're taking you to dinner, we'll talk about it then". Turns out, they had had no luck. Turns out my car was still un-driveable, a veritable mess of sirens and whistles.

We returned home after they successfully distracted me with thai food. Del, in a last-ditch effort before we called Toyota services, tried to get the unlock connection on my broken little thingie to connect with a safety pin. He tried a few times to no avail, and then--SUCCESS!! Alarm de-activated, car starts, no sirens, no whistles. All is well. I almost kissed him, but restrained myself. The end.

A small drama to be sure, but let me tell you something:

I am a strong, independent woman. I pride myself on handling anything that comes my way, except when it comes to my car. If there is a problem with my car it can leave me weeping for days. It really isn't pretty.

I was impressed, however, by the degree of the love that my friends showed me. Impressed, because it reflects to me the love that God has for me. Impressed in the sense of when you impress your fingerprint into a pile of cookie dough or some such malleable surface. My heart has been impressed upon.

It was a timely reminder, because in this Advent season I have been reflecting on passages in Isaiah that speak to God's purpose and His design. I highly recommend chapters 9, 11, 40, 41, 43, 45, 49, and then pretty much the rest of it (sorry, I couldn't decide where to end...). As friends deal with hard issues much more difficult than my car having a psychotic alarm system, such as watching loved ones whose lives are being threatened by severe health problems, dealing with disappointment in people they thought they knew, struggling to balance the realities of life with their own expectations of what things would be, I am reminded:

This is what the LORD says:

"In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you...

I will turn all my mountains into roads...

I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands." (Is. 49)

There is a song by Sara Groves that has become meaningful to my heart, as I've wished I could carry the burdens of the people I love in the past few months:

we were pressed on every side

full of fear and troubled thoughts

for good reason we carried heavy hearts

it is good to come together

in our friendship to remember

all the reasons hope is in our hearts

hallelujah hallelujah

Christ our joy and strength

hallelujah hallelujah

Christ our joy and strength

now with patience in our suffering

perseverance in our prayers

with good reason this hope is in our hearts


You see, Christ engraved us on His palms when He died.

He did it on purpose.

He is impressed with us. He wants us to know it.

For good reason, joy is in our hearts.

whatever it takes baby, whatever it takes...

Here is a list of the things I have so far treated myself to in order to bribe myself into participating in my end-of-semester work:

• lavender legal pads (so pretty, I almost hate to write on them...)
• pine-smelling candles
• mini shortbread Christmas cookies (yum)
• mini ornaments for my mini Christmas tree
• organic ketchup (don't laugh--I can now say that high fructose corn syrup is out of my life for good...)

Next on the list: Gingerbread tea. If Wal-mart would have had it this afternoon, it would already be on the list. Instead I'm planning to pick it up when I head out in just a bit, because I have decided it is necessary.

The good news is that my lovely landlord has been spending most of the weekend on my bathroom floor, fixing the drain. His presence has kept me in line, and I have been a busy little worker.

Busy busy busy. (Bribed, bribed, bribed...)

Is there an imposter among us?

Last Saturday my family gathered for dinner in celebration of Dave's 25th birthday.
In the pictures capturing the evening, however, there is one small problem. Who is that straight-haired girl on the left?

In preparation for the festivities, Kara spent a significant chunk of her morning with blow dryer, brush, and straightener, going at the chaos that is my hair. She was very diligent.

Hence, we three straight-haired Kooistra women felt the need to be documented in our straight-haired beauty.(The possibility that this will happen again in the near future is small after all...) She is a hair wizard that Kara...

...even if it meant that I spent the majority of the day having an identity crises.

Who IS that straight-haired girl?

Happy Birthday Schmis!

Ralph Waldo Emerson apparently knew about my friendship with my dear friend Lisa, for he is known to have said "A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud." (He also said "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." Nail on the head, Ralphie, nail on the head.)

Lisa and I met 10 years ago at Camp of the Woods in the Adirondacks where we were both on the music staff. We were also roommates, a providential move if you ask me. Following our brief summer we both ended up in Boston, and our friendship was solidified as we explored New England on decadent day trips to places like Kennebunkport, Newport, Rochester (you name it, we went to it). We have continued that tradition over the years by creating space for ourselves to just be together even though our lives have taken us in different directions (and we've added dear Geoff into the mix because we think he's pretty cool).

I can honestly say that she has been a better friend to me than I have been to her--she listens to me (even when really I should just shut up), she speaks wisdom into my thoughts, she continually surprises me with how well she knows me. My journey over the past 10 years would have been significantly bleaker without the grace she has extended to me as I figured out how the world works.

She is a woman of wisdom and truth, with a generous heart and a spirit of fun.

I love you Schmis, and hope this year brings you many beautiful things. ~Schmaur

(p.s. dear reader, please do not judge the schmis/schmaur silliness--there's a story behind it that makes it a little less ridiculous ;-} )