Ease: 4

Maybe I don't want to believe.

That would be easier.

I'm seeing it again, my old crazy
jumping up to bite me
the closer and closer you are
to reality.

And I'm seeing it again,
the long road of battle/
surrender
to say: Ok, Your way.

I'm holding it all
in the palms of my hands
and I don't know what to keep
and what to throw away.

And in humility,
I sit down.
I recognize my need.

I want you, whole and holy.
Let me just be clear.

But I am afraid that you will come through,
and I will do all that I can to get out;
But I am afraid that you won't come through,
and I will have believed for naught.
But I am afraid.

In faith this morning I claim belief:
that you are the call
and that the call is of the Kingdom work
and that the Kingdom work is the only way
worth the walking.

And look at me:
I believe that you will come beautifully through.
And that I will receive you, well.

But in these strangely fearful days,
to not believe it would be easier.

[ease, verb: make (something unpleasant, painful, or intense) 

less serious or severe; move carefully, gradually, or gently; 

ease, noun: absence of difficulty or effort ]