'Tis Blessing, I Speak {12}

Resilience.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~

It seems to me that an undivided mind
leads to an undivided heart.

~~
I told you once that God had given me a heart for you.
This, of course, scared the patootie out of you.
[Yes, I made up that word.]

But listen: I understand that fear,
when you've worked so hard to hold yourself together
and any type of intimacy makes it feel like you might die.
I understand that fear.

I, of course, had no idea what I was talking about then.
That was well before I understood a thing.
I just knew: Unfailing love. Keep.reaching.out.
~~
One day not long ago
I walked into a church service not my own,
in anticipatory tears, knowing somehow:
God was going to speak.

I closed my eyes and tuned my heart my mind,
to wait for Him. And then,

I saw you standing in front of a large large room.
From the center of your heart radiated light,
beams and beams and beams of it,
straight and narrow and pointing clear.
Behind you stood the shadow of the cross,
and I saw: To it, your heart was nailed.

And God said: He will be a light to many.

An undivided heart,
refracting out to a multitude of hearts.

And once again I looked and I said
[because always always this I say]:
Man, Your heart for him is strong.
~~

So today, I pray resilience of heart
over for and through you.
His heart is for you; so [and so!] is mine.

Come, my friend, to the fullness of your life.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {11}

Undivided mind.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
Today I had a memory.

Do you remember the day I spoke
to the faculty preparing for summer?
It was the first time I'd seen you, in a while.
We smiled cautiously, we waved casually,
and that was that.

But I saw something in you that I hadn't seen before;
a layer lining your very being,
the presence of the enemy.

And then I saw you again, soon after,
at a party to celebrate a friend.
And you said hello and I found in myself an anger so Righteous,
it took me by surprise:

You had let the darkness in.
And it meant there was more to wait for.

I don't say this to shame you today;
I say it, in fact, to beg.
I understand how these things happen but
whatever that was, whatever you agreed to:
tell it now, to leave.

Until it does,
your mind, your body, your soul, your spirit,
will always be divided.

Today I pray for the authority of Jesus,
for alignment of your mind with His.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {10}

Freedom.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
Yesterday I found myself thinking this thought
that comes up every once and a while.
For the first time I saw it as the weirdest thought;
I noticed it felt as if my mind were chained to it,
as if this thought had more control over me
than I had over it.

So I asked God what it was all about,
and He showed me: The moment it took root,
and why.

Then I asked Him to sever the tie,
to reverse the decision I had made.

And He did, with the reminder:
He breaks every chain.

I have seen you grow and change,
and boy, I'm just so thrilled--
He has broken so much already,
with your willing help.

Today I pray further over your week
that He would break what remains,
reverse the decisions made in your pain
and bring you straight to Freedom.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {9}

Humility.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
Can I ask you, dear sir, a question?
It is sincere,
an "I would really like to know."

Are you living for the Lord?
Or are you living for yourself?
~~

Yesterday I was forwarded an email from you,
inviting all of our friends to your house,
for food and community.

I didn't make it on the list.

There's enough of a history here
for me to not know if you just forgot that I existed,
or if you didn't really want me there.
And so though it said: anyone welcome!,
I chose to respect you, chose not to go.

This is not the first time something along these lines has happened;
I never really know if I'm just not in your mind,
or if you're sending me a message of "don't get any ideas".

In the past, this would have rocked me,
would have hurt, would have made me scared
that all I'd heard and all I'd seen had been not of the Lord.

But more recently my response tends to be:

Whatever dude; just deal with your shit.

Because this has nothing to do with
whether or not you would choose me;
this is about: Are you living for Him?
~~

This morning I sit before Him,
in quiet strength humility.
I know that I know that I know that I know:
no matter what you choose,
I wouldn't do anything differently.

And because I believe that He has more for you
than you will let yourself believe for yourself,
today I speak humility over you.
That you would lay yourself down,
live only for Him, and let Him fulfill His Word.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {8}

Fatherhood.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
Today is Mother's Day.
They will dedicate babies today
and talk about their mothers,
as they always do.
Four years ago, I cried when that happened,
wrecked for the rest of the day;
Three years ago, I didn't go.

By two years ago, I was surrendered to the call of you,
and had laid my desires down.
There was peace in that decision
but still, I met Mother's Day with protective shell indifference.

Last year though, my peace was strange and more complete;
in that year He had spoken motherhood for me.
And in that year I understood:
Motherhood for me cannot be separated
from fatherhood, for you.

In the summer I saw you pick up a baby
and I could not even bear to watch you;
my heart just hurt, sweetly, much.

In the fall I sat in the State Theatre watching To Kill a Mockingbird.
The relationship of trusting strong between Atticus Finch and his children had me weeping in the dark, wanting that for you.

I don't know quite when it happened,
but somewhere along the way my desire to be a mother
morphed into a desire to see you as a father.

Listen to me:
You will be the strongest, most loving, most gentle of fathers.
To watch you with your children already breaks my heart,
and will be my greatest joy.
We will love to call you ours,
and the honor of it will be our greatest blessing.

So today I will listen to them bless the mothers,
and I will speak out fatherhood;
Claiming it for you, for me,
and for those children we will hold.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {7}

Salvation.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
I have been thinking about your joy.
I see it sometimes, in you,
but is it rooted?

Sometimes I see it sitting on the surface
of your being but then it dissipates,
wafting away because the circumstance changed
or your belief in your own capacity has swayed.

And you would think that maybe I
would say that today I'll pray for your joy,
but no. Joy is rooted when its based in an understanding of
your salvation. In Him.

So today I speak of your salvation,
from each and every power that would steal your joy away.
And today I speak praise and glory and honor
to the One who makes your salvation complete.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {6}

Pure in heart.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
One of the great fallacies of our society
is the belief that the heart wants what the heart wants,
and that is that.

I am here to stand as witness:
God will wrestle my heart down to the ground
over and over and until until
it is made, purified.

[I know what it is now,
to fear the Lord.
He--in truth-is terrifying.]

He is too fierce in His love for me,
to allow my heart to stand on its own or
to be my guide in all of its broken deceitful pride.

He is the one who sees my heart
in all degrees of broken and whole,
and He is the one to guide it.

Today I pray this over you,
that purity of heart would be
the thing you agree to letting Him do.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.