'Tis Blessing, I Speak {8}

Fatherhood.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
Today is Mother's Day.
They will dedicate babies today
and talk about their mothers,
as they always do.
Four years ago, I cried when that happened,
wrecked for the rest of the day;
Three years ago, I didn't go.

By two years ago, I was surrendered to the call of you,
and had laid my desires down.
There was peace in that decision
but still, I met Mother's Day with protective shell indifference.

Last year though, my peace was strange and more complete;
in that year He had spoken motherhood for me.
And in that year I understood:
Motherhood for me cannot be separated
from fatherhood, for you.

In the summer I saw you pick up a baby
and I could not even bear to watch you;
my heart just hurt, sweetly, much.

In the fall I sat in the State Theatre watching To Kill a Mockingbird.
The relationship of trusting strong between Atticus Finch and his children had me weeping in the dark, wanting that for you.

I don't know quite when it happened,
but somewhere along the way my desire to be a mother
morphed into a desire to see you as a father.

Listen to me:
You will be the strongest, most loving, most gentle of fathers.
To watch you with your children already breaks my heart,
and will be my greatest joy.
We will love to call you ours,
and the honor of it will be our greatest blessing.

So today I will listen to them bless the mothers,
and I will speak out fatherhood;
Claiming it for you, for me,
and for those children we will hold.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.