The Useful Question follows me...

In my most recent blog for work, I couldn't get those useful questions outta my head.  Read on:

This week The Chronicle of Higher Education draws me to itself with an article regarding the famine in East Africa.  Millions of people are suffering, it says--suffering in a variety of extreme ways.  When suffering is so wide-spread, efforts for relief become all the more daunting.  ‘What is the solution?’ we clamor to each other, ‘What can be done?’

Often, getting to the solution involves asking more questions—questions like “Who is at fault?” or “What are the consequences?”  The trouble with these types of questions, the authors suggest however, is that they are only ‘a part of the story’.  They say that—instead—we need to ‘identify the conditions that underpin poverty’ so that we might understand why these populations are so vulnerable, and why they are so affected when famine strikes.

As I read, it strikes me that the trouble with the questions such as “Who is at fault” or “What are the consequences” is that—though they are important—they are not the most useful questions.  Remaining on the surface of the issue, they do not go deep enough. As the authors suggest, we need questions that will get to the root of the problem instead of looking at what is merely right in front of us.  

       

Asking the more useful questions helps us to re-structure the system at its roots, so that tragedy on such a grand scale cannot occur again.

Right now, I imagine that you are saying “Excuse me, isn’t this blog supposed to be about teaching?”, and my response to you is:

It is.

Today, in your classroom, you will face situations that ask you to ask questions.  What route of questioning will you choose to take?

Will you remain on the surface, asking questions that deal with what is right in front of you?

Or, will you go deeper, looking for the most useful question to get at the root?

Surface questions deal with today, maybe the semester; useful questions deal in long-term change.

The essence of a useful question is encouragement toward and guidance into the places that really matter.  Useful questions move your students further than where they can see on their own to go.  Useful questions drive them deeper, make them think, make them consider implications and consequences. Useful questions provide them opportunity to live in freedom, beyond the surface. 

The more I think about the role of useful questions in my own life and the lives around me, the more I think that they are rooted in the phenomenology of caring.  In Philosophy of Education, Nel Noddings (2007) writes that the end goal of caring is to ‘relieve a burden, activate a dream, share a joy, or clear up a confusion’ (p. 72).  A useful question is made of the same goal.

If we position ourselves to ask useful questions of our students, we will position them to think deeper, see farther, and reach further as they move out beyond our classrooms. 

We will position them to get to the roots of famine, we will position them to care.

Of Course we had a Party

The morning of the baptism dawned bright and fair, 

and Daniela was ready to get the party started.

While her Mommy and Tia Aurora stayed home to get her ready, her Daddy took Dave, Kara and I to the restaurant where the post-baptism celebration would happen, and put us to work.

(I did not think I would ever see the day
where my brothers would hang tulle, 

but I have pictures to prove it occurred....)

When the tulle and balloons,

the mums and the stuffed animals
were pleasingly distributed throughout the room,

 we returned to the house to spend some last minute precious time with the star of the day,

 since we knew once the festivities started there would be plenty of people vying for her attention.

We let her know that she is loved.

After the church service, we went to the restaurant

and settled in at our tables in anticipation of:

the arrival of the star (of course),

but also?

The arrival of the FOOD.
Oh, how I love being married into the Portuguese.

(Oh, how I love the Sangria too.....)

In due time, the star conked out in her Daddy's arms,

while the rest of us

took the opportunity

just to be

together.

A good party,

a Good day.

The Most Useful Question

Dear Keith and Marisa, 

and Daniela:

There is nothing more precious 

than watching a family become a family.

As Daniela continues to grow and develop, 

and as you continue to learn about each other 

and understand each other, 

your home will be a place of love.

There's no question about it, 

because you two are two of the biggest hearted people I know.

Last weekend you demonstrated
your love for your child by bringing her into Love.

In front of all of the people who love you
and support you, you said:

'We want this child to belong to the Lord,
to love Him, and to know Him.'

And we said it with you.

Now, as she grows, she will face many questions
in her journey to understand her place as His child.
It will feel, at times, nearly impossible
to understand the Love that He has for her,
and it may be nearly impossible to trust
that this world will not convince her it isn't True.

And so you will need a useful question
as you walk out this journey with her,
a question that counters what the world
will try to do to steal her away from Truth.

Truth is the Love of God, but it seems like these days I can't turn around without talking about the Love of God vs. Religion, with Christians and non-Christians alike.  So I thought about that Love vs. Religion, sitting in your beautiful church building, singing glory to God and calling on Christ, watching your loved child be baptized in His Name.

I thought about how that Love asks us for our love,

and how He does not ask us for our Religion.

When I think about the complexity of the rules we write for ourselves within our religious rites, I begin to see quite clearly and quite quickly that we can't follow them.  We will never get them all right, and our neighbor across the aisle will never get them all right.

(Of course, they might think they're getting them right, but chances are good that they won't be getting them right according to us. And we probably shouldn't ask them what they think about our success--I'm sure they've got some eyebrows just waiting to be raised.)

When I look a little further into it, I realize that our Religion is more likely based on our own preconceived notions, the social and cultural norms and expectations that we have accepted as true, than it is on God's Love.

Which results in a sad truth:  

When we look to serve our Religion, 

we only end up worshiping ourselves.

But, the Good News?

When we look for the Heart of God, we find Him.

We find Him, because His heart says:

Give me your heart.

That's it.

That's all I want.

He says:

I am not Religion;

I am living, breathing, active Word and Spirit,

and I can breathe anywhere there is a heart that recognizes Me.

He says:

What is the position of your heart before Me?

So here, dear Keith, beautiful Marisa, and sweet Daniela, 

is your most useful question.

As you raise this child to know and love the Lord,

come back to this question over and over again.

In every minute of every day, in every situation that seems full of difficulty and every one that is full of joy.

Ask it,
because it is the only question that answers with Truth.

Teach it to her, remind her to ask it too.


He is looking for your heart, he is looking for hers.
And, with a heart that belongs to Him?
He can do marvelous, wonderful, powerful things,
beyond your asking or imagining,
and to the glory due His Name.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart, 
and lean not on your own understanding.  
In all your ways acknowledge Him, 
and He will direct your paths.

With so much love--
and a promise,
as a member of your support system,
to ask it of myself--
Lauren

The Art of the Question

Recently I've been thinking about useful questions.

Sometimes, like when you're stuck in a situation you don't know how to get out of, or when you're looking for an answer that you just can't find, or you're trying to analyze a certain kind of truth or a specific moment in a relationship with another, you might just need to take a moment and say unto thyself:

Am I asking the most useful question?

Because probably?

You are not.

I find that questions can fall on a continuum of more or less useful, but that they are most likely always used for something. Questions help me to learn about the person sitting in front of me, they help me to understand that person's world.  Questions help me to get my students to think for themselves, to take ownership over their learning.  Questions help me to understand my own context, and my place inside of it.

But questions can also just be a unique way to get at information I could simply tell you straight out.

Such as:

Do you remember the cutest baby in the world?

This weekend, Daniela learned the Art of the Question:

'Hey, who is this lady?'

'Why does she make these exorbitant faces?'

'Why didn't you tell me she's so funny?'

'Why don't I have such monstrous lips?'

'Why hasn't she been around more? I like her.'
(ok, that one might be my own wishful interpretation...)

She also got to ask some things
about her Uncle Dave & Aunt Kara.

For instance,

'Who are you?'

'What do you look like from this angle?'

 'Why do you have such monstrous hands?'

And,

'Why in the world do they think I'm so hysterical?'

Now, when she asked me if she could gnaw on my finger for awhile,
I was a bit taken aback.
I should have asked if she was serious:

She was.

[I now know I do not need to ask the question
'Is she growing any teeth yet?']

And finally,
since she is so gifted in the Art of the Question,
she has a few for you:

'Did you hear I got baptized this weekend?'
and
'Do you think my really great Auntie Lauren will blog about it?'
and
'I wonder what she thinks
the most useful question is in regard to me?'

Stay tuned you little bug, the baptism blog is on its way!

Smells like Home

Meet my Aunt Debbie:

She's not my Aunt by blood or biology, but she is my mother's childhood friend, and I spent much of my childhood in her home. Her daughter Mandy was only a year and 10 days younger than I, and--though we were completely different than each other--my best friend (of the BFF necklace variety) and the sister I never had.  I spent hours equaling years at Aunt Debbie's house--sleeping, eating, playing, being.

When I was 13 their family moved to Texas, and our paths took different shape.  This weekend, however, I traveled to NJ for Daniela's baptism and familial moments, and an extra benefit: 

 Aunt Debbie, at my mother's, visiting.

I sat next to her on the couch and listened to her life now, remembered with her our shared past, and realized with a surprised sort of wonder:

I still remember how her house smelled.

So, upon reflection, it seems to me that though the years have moved us out of the depth of relationship we once shared,

she will always remind me of what it means to be home.

My nose knows it, and so do I.

Fall into fall...

Friends come to town!

I am just a busy little bug these days.
Life is one great thing to the next great thing, including the visit this weekend of 4 of my favorite out-of-towners.

On Saturday  Gene and Kathy just happened to be driving through State College on their way home to Massachusetts from a wedding in West Virginia, and just happened to drop by my house.

Their happening meant that we could sit in my living room lounging and talking, sit in their hotel room lounging and talking, sit over dinner at the Tavern downtown.  Lounging and talking.

They came to church the next morning and smiled at me from the congregation while I played on the stage.  Then there was hugging and more hugging, as they went on their way.

Such good friends, so good to me, so good to see them.

Then, later that night, Emily and Aden were in town, and there was dinner to be had.

We met at Amy's, where we lounged and talked and debated where our dinner should take place.

We settled on Olde New York, a local place with a menu made mainly of German inspired sauerkraut.

Luckily for us, it was also Oktoberfest, which included good beer and live music.  And lederhosen.

And, [introducing!] Caleb!

[The newest addition to our little family, I've known Caleb for years and a) adore him and b) adore the fact that he is now dating our darling Amy.]

We lounged and talked in front of the cozy fireplace, drinking in the beer, the music, the lederhosen, and each other.

When all was said and the lounging was done, we made our way to the parking lot where there was hugging and more hugging, and I came to the conclusion:

Gee, I love it when friends come to town!