Advent 5: The Deep Mundane

Boredom.

You know how it sneaks up on you? You're just doing your thing,
living your life, and then one day you wake up and realize:
Good night, I am so bored.

I've never been a routine kind of girl, or one to have a small bit on my plate. But steadily over the past year or so, God has been saying:
Make space girl--make space. And so I have, until I find every day is just routine, and my mind is unengaged.

I sit in my office and direct the staff, I proofread the texts, deliver the emails, count the RSVPs, re-check the budgets. I leave and welcome piano babies into my home, and we make the music and we learn where Middle C lives (and sometimes even Treble G!).
And then I make some food because a person has to eat,
and before I know it, it's time to sleep.

The next day it happens again. And again. And again.

You see my point.

Yesterday I looked Him in the face and I said:
Do you see me down here?! I am shriveling.
He looked me right back and said: Do you see Me?
And then: If I cannot trust you with the mundane things,
I will not trust you with My Greater Things.

To which I said: Oh.

And got back on my face before Him.

But then this morning a thought winged through my mind in response to another, what one might call a "lesson" except that it's a lesson I have learned at least 3 times before. This time it just sat there as a "right, I already know that."

I said to Him: I blogged about that three years ago.
You really need to get more current.

I said to Him: I am a learner...I need to learn things. 
Do you see me down here I am SHRIVELING.

But then He pointed to the layers of learning, the fact that I need lessons to repeat again and again until they root themselves in the deep place. The place of this-that-wasn't-is-now-my-normal.
And perhaps I should be grateful?

And then He reminded me of all the persons I will sit with today, to whom I will listen. He showed me the hearts of dear ones, struggling. He reminded me of the piano babies, curled up in my chair, reading a book as they wait for their turn. And He showed me the face of another, the one for whom He came as babe and died as man and reigns as victorious King. And He said: Do you see them?

And I got back on my face.

Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

[Isaiah 60]