When life gives you ripe avocados...

Be careful.

Things I also learned:

1) When your evening agenda is to practice the piano, only slice through the top of your finger.

2) If you are typically the one serving your friends, just sit yourself down with a major injury and allow your voice to escalate a teeny bit. They will hop up immediately, and you will be treated like a queen. A few tears, some hysterical laughter, and dramatic statements about the hopelessness of your life cannot hurt.

3) Further, creating a massive amount of drama around an injury and its ensuing bloodiness, plus your general dislike of hospitals mingled with a more specific fear of losing your finger to your own stupidity can really do wonders for a room full of people feeling a little low about life-these-days. Sometimes a nearly sliced off finger is just the emotional release everyone is waiting for.

4) When--within the span of a single month--one manages to stab herself with the blade of the blender, spend an entire day working to salvage the recipe she misread in a multitude of ways and in a multitude of iterations, zest her digits more than the lemon which was the goal, throw a milkshake clear across the room in an accidental fit of rage, and--as if that were not enough--nearly slice off a much-needed finger...perhaps one should consider stepping out of the kitchen for a while...

However:

5) The food resulting  out of all this drama is clear indication:

Anything worth living for is going to require some battle.