I thought a thought, which changed me

Tonight we perform scenes from Gilbert & Sullivan;
I walk offstage with the Admiral, who says to me:
"How long have you been playing the piano?"

I think for a moment, calculate my newly-turned age.
"30 years" I tell him.

He tells me I'm amazing.

~~
Wasn't it just yesterday that voices of inadequacy
went plaguing through my head?
A-gain?
Assuming what the others think,
and that it's not good,
and that it matters.

But then it was just yesterday when
I thought a thought, which changed me.

I thought: What if I measured my life by this moment?

~~

By rehearsal time this afternoon, I'm tired;
body drained, mind worn, it is Friday, five o'clock!
Gilbert & Sullivan is simply a pain,
my left hand leaping, my right hand flying;
my fingers are weaving, my arms are waving
and I am working, hard.

The room will fill in three hours short.
I wonder: Can I do this well?
I give myself permission: perfection is not what matters most.
I realize: I am really thankful, for the opportunity just to play.

I walk onto that stage at eight o'clock,
it's show time, here we go!

I enjoy each moment,
the music that I alone am making.
In truth, I kick that piano's butt
and gosh, it is just fun.

30 years, and it's about time.