This is a First

Confession: I have never, 

in all my culinary years, cooked a turkey.

Resolution: To change.

Solution:

 Buy a fresh young turkey [born for such a day as this].

 Stir up some brine.

 Make introductions.

 Stick him in a bag [and apologize for grossed-out friend's less-than-welcoming behavior].

 Introduce turkey to brine, brine to turkey.

 Plop them both in the cooler,

 and stick them in the garage.

Pack with ice, and go to bed.

Awake,

to a delightfully snowy day.

 Gather together a mixture of flavor;

 chop.

 Introduce flavor to its new home;

 introduce turkey to his.

Wait. Listen to the freezing rain dripping down around the house.  Breathe in the incredible  aroma of a fresh young turkey, 

living out his destiny.

 Soon enough, remove turkey from oven;

collect his drippings while he rests.

[He's had a long day.]

Then, since the party you were aiming to share him at is postponed to next week due to weather, 

carve him up [and acknowledge to yourself that perhaps your carving skills need some work].

Package him up for the freezer [with large amounts of snitching], and pat yourself on the back for successfully completing your mission.

A first for me,

a first for him.

I wonder who enjoyed it more?