A Thanksgiving Fast, with Abundance

A few months ago God brought to my attention a few things He considered to be urgent: conditions in my own heart He wanted to conquer, friends in situations dire whose hearts He wanted to heal and feet He wanted to free.  I looked at Him and said "Well, yes  Lord, I agree.  Urgent.  But Lord? These are things I do not know how to do, or I would have done them.  These are things that you have got to move in if you want anything to happen, and in which you have not yet moved.  These are things that reveal to me quite clearly:  I am desperate for you.  So what do you want me to do?"


His answer was, in that gentle insistent way that He has: 
Fast and pray. 


You see, the prayers I'd already been waging were in the right direction but needed a little umph, something to signify: 
Yes. I agree with you, I see what you want to do, I know what you can do,  I am asking you, and I. Am. Desperate.  


Fast and pray, in order to say: I am asking you for You.


And so, I fasted for a day and discovered: God showed up.  In ways I didn't expect, with His Presence and His Heart, with Clarity and Peace, with Sustenance for the waiting on these hard things He's working in.  In Abundance.


In that one day I learned that when you go without, 
you must rely on the power of God to get you through: 
That in your weakness, He is Strong, and Abundantly so.


I learned that when you deny yourself in order to honor God: 
He pours Himself out.


Fast forward to Thanksgiving week, after a few months of learning this lesson of Fasting Abundance.


I find myself in a bit of a desperate situation: Dissertation Proposal Deadline Looming.  And I realize: There's no way I can go to NJ for Thanksgiving and a) maintain my mental and emotional stability and b) get this dang thing done.


And so? I fast from Thanksgiving.


Sort of.

I fast from being with my family, 

and get drenched in the abundance of their love:

My mother sends flowers with a note that 

brings tears to my eyes and shows me: Loved.

My brother sends me a text that 

brings tears to my eyes and shows me: Loved.

My sister-in-law calls me to say they all understand: Loved.

On the day of, the whole gang calls me and yells into the phone how much they miss me: Loved.

Then, on that day, I fast from people and most food groups:

[Dang dissertation.]

until I arrive at Caleb's parents house in the evening for an abundance of love, 

warmth,

good conversation,

good laughs,

and delicious food.

I stood around this table with tears in my eyes, listened to the love and well-wishes in the air, felt the welcome just wrap me up in its arms.  Abundance, all the way around.

And I realized: 

Had I not gone without, 

I would not be aware of the Abundance of the receiving.

Just pouring Himself out,

saying:

I am desperate for you too, and I will show you what I can do.

Abundantly.