'Tis Blessing, I Speak {5}

Tenacity.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
I am aware today of the need to be tenacious,
in almost every thing.

It takes tenacity to walk in friendship,
when the payoff isn't clear,
and the asking is more than I feel I can give;
it takes tenacity to continue to pursue the heart
of each commitment I have made.

In all the work I set my hands toward,
my mind must be tenacious too.

To clean my house, to read and write the emails;
to keep writing these dang blog posts,
to walk with Jesus when He isn't quite speaking.

To continue the difficult road of old becoming new,
stepping where we know we are being asked to.
To pray, to fast, to act in love...

All of it makes tenacity its priority.

We'll need it, you know, when the marriage feels long
and the feelings are less than happy.

To be tenacious is to look ahead and see
there's a purpose in keeping keeping on.

Today I speak tenacity, for and of you.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {4}

Courage.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
I understand, you know.

I see you standing, in front of a revolving door.
I see you contemplating, whether or not to step inside.
I see that wisdom is important to you, and this does not feel wise--
this revolving door could spit you out on either side.

I see that you are afraid of either possibility;
I see that you are afraid of who and how you will hurt,
and that that hurt will be of me.

But listen to me: Wisdom can be idolatry.

Some would say it is not wise for me to write here every day,
or to sit myself out from the dating game.
Some would say I should protect my heart.

Is it mine to protect, or is it God's?
I could ask the same of you.
Is it up to you, to protect me?

Courage is to trust Him,
in the places you obey Him.

Today I pray courage, into you.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {3}

Hope.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
I remember one day you'd done yet another inexplicable thing
which suggested to me that I was not in your mind.
And it upset me.

It upset me because I was so afraid that I was being deceived,
and it sure looked like it. On the surface.
And I got on my knees in tears before Him,
and I asked Him what in the heck He was doing.

It was so hard for me to retain hope in those days,
given my own journey, given yours.
I'd let myself go where He seemed to be saying to go,
but then you'd do something that didn't line up,
and, well...that would set me back. A ways.

But guess what happened when I got down on my knees?

I saw His fist go slamming through a wall.
And then I heard: Hope.

His anger surprised me.
I learned in that moment that it mattered to Him
that I put my hope in Him, and not so much in you;
It mattered to Him for me to believe that He would come through.

By the time I stood up, I understood:
This journey of hearing about you but not seeing anything from you
was really about my hope in Him--
being restored, from all of the ways it had been stolen.

It was about ending the cycles of hopelessness.
~~
What about you? Hope is a word I consistently hear for you too.

So today, I pray hope over you.
Hope in Him alone.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 

and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {2}

Victory.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.
~~
Yesterday when I arrived and no one else was there but you,
prowling in the garden,
I just walked up to you, slow and sure,
until you met me with a smile.
Easy as could be.

That was a victory.
~~
[Speaking of victory,
I haven't wanted to write here
of what I'm about to say, but
let's make today a victorious day...]

More than a year has passed
since the day that God led me to get on my knees
to pray for the lives of our children.

I didn't want to do that.
It was like a carrot, dangling in my face.

But when I did, He showed me: Victory.
A pearl of beautiful faith,
the place He wanted me to go,
gotten to.

Since that day, He has shown me time and time again,
how invested He is in them.
But on any given day since that day
I am more or less victorious;
Is this a cruel joke?
Or is it my territory?
To embrace.

This morning I sat down and I said I was willing
to sit securely in the place of His sweet calling;
Wife to you, mother to our children.
This morning I asked Him for victory here, for me,
because on my own I cannot find rest.

But I speak it too, for you.
Victory in this place, believing what He has for you.
~~
On that same day, on my knees,
I saw Jesus, standing among His people.
We were celebrating, His flag of victory raised.

You came riding into our midst
on a brown and gentle horse.
You slid off into the crowd,
delivered.

His Victory.
Today I speak His Victory over you.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 
may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 
and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

'Tis Blessing, I Speak {1}

Faithfulness.

It is yours.

That you would see it and know it,
that you would choose it, claim it,
breathe it and be it.

The powers of darkness have been defeated,
for He has and will and always shall it be: overcome.

[I am overwhelmed and overwhelmed,
by His faithfulness to us.]

Today I speak His faithfulness,
over you.

May the Lord bless and keep you, 
may he make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, 
and turn his face toward you, and give you his peace.

For you.

There's only one thing left that I want to say
as a fitting end to this session /
a foundation built for this new season:

It's hesed.

Do you know it?

In the words of one author I read,
"hesed is driven, not by duty or legal obligation,
but by a bone-deep commitment--
a loyal, selfless love that motivates a person to do
voluntarily what no one has a right to expect or ask of them.
They have the freedom to act or to walk away
without the slightest injury to their reputation.
Yet they willingly pour themselves out for the good of someone else."

It's faithful love in action,
persistent unconditional tenderness,
kindness, mercy, love;
a covenant relationship of seeking for the other
with a loyalty some would call radical,
with no matter what.

You didn't ask me for it,
I know that.
And you don't owe me a thing--
I did it on my own.

But it's foundational,
and its been put in place already.

I'll leave it there.
For you.

Fulfill: 6

I read an article yesterday, about marriage.

It talked about the four most poisonous detriments to a healthy one:
Criticism. Contempt. Defensiveness. Disengagement.

And I thought about the ways that God's been teaching me,
of how to be a wife. Saying,
*don't criticize,
*don't hold him in contempt,
*don't get defensive,
*don't disengage.

Except He hasn't really said those things in terms of "don't";
all He said was:

*Speak the best things, the beautiful things,
   the strong things, about him.
*Bless him, no matter how unfair it seems.
*Find your identity in Me, and his behavior
   no longer threatens what you believe about yourself.
*Turn to him, not away, no matter how hurt you are.

And I thought about the how many times I thought I couldn't do it,
and the how many times He showed me: I can.

When this marriage He has spoken
is here-and-for-all fulfilled,
I promise you.

I will put my hand in yours, in His, and I will say:
I can. I will.

[fulfill, verb: bring to completion or reality; achieve or realize (something desired, promised, or predicted); to succeed in doing]