Dwelling: 6

Yes, we made a piano fort, and yes.
It was awesome.

[dwell, verb: to remain for a time; to keep the attention directed; to linger over, emphasize, or ponder in thought]

Dwelling: 5

To the Lord I said [with tear-lined eye],

 "What, oh Lord, is real?"

And when He replied "Your heart, desire"

I sat right down

and wrote it.

[dwell, verb: to remain for a time; to keep the attention directed; to linger over, emphasize, or ponder in thought]

Dwelling: 4

To be strong.

[dwell, verb: to remain for a time; to keep the attention directed; to linger over, emphasize, or ponder in thought]

Dwelling: 3

Have I mentioned my cozy pants?

I love to dwell, in my cozy pants.

[dwell, verb: to remain for a time; to keep the attention directed; to linger over, emphasize, or ponder in thought]

Dwelling: 2

Curled in blankets of early morning, 

Coffee cup in hand;

Just being, just talking,

With the One who knows my name.

[dwell, verb: to remain for a time; to keep the attention directed; to linger over, emphasize, or ponder in thought]

Dwelling: 1

When once the peace was where I landed, 

what I saw was:

Change.

"What we needed was to stop, 

to be alone and alone together, 

to be quiet verging on bored, 

to be silent enough to hear our lives changing."

[Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet]

[dwell, verb: to remain for a time; to keep the attention directed; to linger over, emphasize, or ponder in thought]

I Took Notice, to Notice

Ten days ago, I had a great idea. Entirely bored, so restless in my daily life I would probably take another if offered to me without a second thought, I thought: "I will track the top three things of each day.  I will pay attention to what is lovely and beautiful about life and write them down, and then I will be so happy!"

[I didn't say it was an original idea. Plus, it is possible I'd had a touch too much to drink. I was bored, remember?]

Anyway, I began to implement my "great idea",
when some-things-unexpected occurred.

First, there were more than three things that I wanted to notice each day. Secondly, most of those things turned out to be quite uninteresting. Some of those things, even, felt kind of crappy, or were--at the very least--of the most rudimental mundane-acity. And then, in the grand scheme of difficult battles people fight every day?

Who the heck really cares about my boring moments anyway.

But, still, I noticed them. And, still, I wrote them down.
[You can see them for yourself if you'd like, in the last ten posts...]

And after ten days of noticing, here is what I NOTICED.

1) I am terrified of negativity, the kind of perspective on life that sits in your soul and shreds you from the inside out. And so, I live my life in this constant state of optimism. Which--sometimes? Is not very genuine. Being genuine, however, is of great importance to me.  So what if I could honestly observe the things that I felt were not great and say: "Not great. But not gonna shred my soul."  What if?

2) Turning my eyes to notice, during a season where there was not really all that much to see, revealed deeper things. It opened up my eyes to where my heart really is, and where my heart really isn't. And in a season where God is challenging my heart to stand bravely in His face, and to surrender all that I am to His call, that was helpful. Because there are some things I need to let go of, and some things I need to step more fully into , and I know now what they are.

3) It also revealed: Simple things. I noticed: simple. things. And for a girl who has lived a whirlwind of activity for years and years and years, a girl who seems to think boring is a trap and whirlwind is evidence of trap-less-ness, what I noticed is: I like simple things. Maybe then the answer, to when I'm restless and bored and want to run away, is to remind myself: Simple. You like simple. Please, somebody, just give me the simple.

4) Which simply leads me straight to this: I noticed that I wasn't really looking for happy after all. What I was really looking for, was peace.

[Notice, verb: to pay attention to; 

to perceive, become aware of; to heed] 

In these ten days, I have paid attention. I have perceived,
have become aware of what I didn't know was there.

Today I see with deeper eyes that the life I live is not about my happy ending, it is not about my top three things. It is entirely about standing in the caring of my heart--bravely, genuinely, and in the fullness of the Call. It is about embracing all that is simple, offered by a firm but patient Hand, and standing securely in all it is I really need.

So heed my soul, heed. 

It is indeed well,

when all you need is Peace.